Diary of a Traditional Holiday Cook

CRANBERRY SAUCE

2007-11-29T08:14:00.000-08:00

Cranberry sauce is a real hot topic these days, especially since cranberries are now elevated to a new plateau of excellence as a "good food" with antioxidants and all that. Actually, most dark-colored fruits have high food value and I love the taste of all of them - cranberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, etc. I grew up a farm girl so eating berries as a kid was "normal" in the midwest. Anything that says "berry" on the end tastes really good and is good for you (don't tell the kids). I keep dried cranberries in my pantry at all times. I toss a few in fruit salads, vegetable salads, whatever, to spice things up. You gotta admit that cranberries give a little tart kick to whatever you put them in. When those cranberries hit your taste buds, it reminds you that you are alive and distracts you for a moment from CSI Miami re-runs on cable TV.

Cranberries served at a holiday meal are a simple side dish no matter how you serve them. The easiest way to meet the minimum traditional cranberry requirement for a holiday meal is to buy one of those cans of cranberry sauce, open the can, and slide it onto a serving dish. Sometimes it slides out pretty fast so you might want to be ready to catch it. In my rookie cooking days, I once slid a can of cranberry sauce into the kitchen sink and wouldn't you know it was the side of the sink with the garbage disposal. I grabbed for it (my reflexes were pretty quick back then) and got a hand on it, but it was like trying to catch a greased pig at the county fair. It shot down the drain really fast (after coating itself in chopped onions and celery) so I just turned on the garbage disposal, wished it happy holidays, and sent my husband to the store for another can of sauce. I think the dog went with him in the car - the dog had witnessed the first mishap and seemed very interested in what had happened. But then most dogs are interested in anything that involves opening a can.

I was quicker the second time and pointed it toward the backsplash of the kitchen counter. Once again, it came out fast but only slightly bounced off the backsplash and settled onto the serving plate. Once you get it securely on the serving plate, just slice it like homemade bread. You don't even need a sharp knife to cut it - dental floss would do it. You do know the cans I'm talking about where the sauce slides out of the can like a jello mold and resembles grape jelly from a jar, only red instead of purple. That's what my Mom used to do and she never progressed past this level when it came to cranberries. I never held it against her - she had met the minimum standard for traditional holiday cooking, at least in the midwest.

You can also buy a can of "whole cranberries" which come out of the can kind of like joint compound that you use to put up drywall in houses(hey, I'm a landlord by day - a cook when off duty). You actually have to spoon it out into a serving bowl. If you go this route, you can throw a small sprig of parsley on top of the cranberry sauce and it makes you look like you tried harder. Depending on who your dinner guests are, this level of traditional cranberry sauce might really impress them, especially if they grew up with the jello-type cranberry sauce during the holidays.

For those who are adventurous and want to jump to a higher level of cranberry achievement, I would recommend my own version of "cranberry relish". It only takes about half an hour and it is simply wonderful and can be used as a multi-purpose sauce long after your guests have gone home.

I use about 3 cups of fresh cranberries (all the grocery stores carry these around the holidays - just buy a small bag), 1 can of crushed pineapple (or you can add about two cups of fresh chopped pineapple if that's your thing), 3 cups of sugar (or you can substitute part of the sugar for honey), about a cup of raisins, 1 - 2 chopped navel oranges, and 1 - 2 cups of chopped walnuts (my preference) or pecans.

This is not a precise recipe and I would advise increasing or reducing parts of the ingredients to match your taste. Put the fresh cranberries on the stove in two cups of boiling water and put a lid on the pan while they cook at high heat. Remove the pan from the stove when all the cranberries have popped open. (Happy New Year!) Add the can of crush pineapple (or you can use chunk pineapple if you like that better) and dump in along with the juice. Add the 3 cups of sugar, the raisins, and the chopped oranges (rinds can be removed or not - I remove mine). Simmer on the stove at low heat for about 20 minutes and stir the mixture during this time. After about 20 minutes the mixture will start to thicken. Remove your pan from the stove and stir in whatever nuts you are using. Let it cool for about an hour and then pour it into a sealed container and put it in the refrigerator. This "cranberry relish" will continue to thicken as it chills. I make this the night before the holiday dinner so that it is well chilled.

The great thing about this dish is that you can use it later for other things and it keeps well for about a week. I use it as a sauce over broiled or baked chicken or fish and I have also used it instead of mayonaise on a roast beef and swiss sandwich on wheat bread. Actually, I make this stuff year round - who cares if it's a holiday! This is just good stuff. Happy cranberry sauce...

STUFF IT

2007-11-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Your dinner guests for a holiday meal will probably assume that some type of stuffing will arrive at your Martha Stewart look-alike table. (Yea, right.) As a rookie, I sweat over this one, especially since my Mother always seemed to get it right and stuffing is, after all, very traditional. The next issue becomes whether to put the stuffing inside the bird and bake it altogether or put the stuffing in a separate pan and serve it more as a side dish.

As a young girl, I was trained to put that stuffing in a shallow baking dish and bake it separately. If you were a turkey, would you want somebody stuffing your insides? The bird is having a bad day anyway just ending up in that previously referenced cooking bag, turning a golden brown, and having his legs feel like they are ready to fall off.

After years of trials and errors, I feel strongly that my Mother had it right about stuffing. The baking dish approach provides more control and assures that everything is fully cooked and in plain sight. The final product of baking stuffing in a baking dish should be a golden brown appearance that is slightly toasted on top.

Of course, if the stuffing thing is a real concern, Stove Top stuffing makes a quick adequate substitute on top of the stove to meet the very minimal requirement for the stuffing tradition. If you feel like you have to go this route, be sure to hide the box in the trash and maybe nobody will notice. If somebody says something, tell them that most McDonald's are open at least part of the day on major holidays and no matter where you are, there's always one within a short driving distance. And remember that young kids actually prefer Stove Top stuffing because that's what they get served at home.

My Mother taught me a simple recipe for stuffing - bread, celery, onions, turkey broth, and salt and pepper to taste. She used to lay the bread out on the counter the night before the holiday to let it get stale. I have progressed past this and lightly toast mine in the oven on both sides - just plain bread, nothing else with it. Then I chop it into cubes about an inch across and throw it in a mixing bowl.

The celery is a midwestern tradition and my training was very specific. You know when you get whole stalks of celery with those little flowery things on the end? (You don't get those if you just buy the celery stalks.) I was specifically told to wash the celery and then chop up the little flowery things for the stuffing because those gave stuffing a specific taste and appearance. You can also add some of the stalks (also chopped), but apparently those little flowery things were the ticket to traditional stuffing glory in the midwest. Preparing the onion is pretty simple - just chop up one large or two small yellow onions and throw those in the mixing bowl, too.

Now comes the control part - the broth. Remember that cooking bag recommendation I mentioned before? Unless your cooking bag blows a gasket during the baking process, there should be plenty of turkey broth in the bottom of that bag after you remove the bird from the oven. I use about three cups of broth and dilute it with about two cups of water for one baking dish of stuffing. When diluting the broth with water, I also whisk one egg into this mixture. I'm not sure why the egg is important, but I suspect it is because my Mother did that, her Mother did that, and her Mother's Mother did that too. Maybe it just kind of glues everything together. So goes tradition.

Oh yea, I also buy a couple of small cans of turkey or chicken broth as a backup in case my turkey tries to escape while baking, punches out of the cooking bag, and causes the broth to bake to the bottom of the roasting pan. Scraping turkey broth off the bottom of a roasting pan with a putty knife is not a fun adventure, although I have done it in my earlier years. Somehow, the taste just isn't quite the same. Just remember to pick up a couple of cans of broth.

And I must comment on the recent changes to canned chicken broth. The newer cans say it is Fat-Free. If there's no fat in the broth, then what's in there anyway? Broth is all fat. My Mother taught me that. That's why it tastes so darned good. I will forever be suspicious of Fat-Free canned chicken broth. Somebody is pulling somebody's leg there.

When you get to the stuffing assembly process, I mix everything together in a mixing bowl before pouring it into the baking dish. This gives you a chance to fine tune the mixture. The stuffing shouldn't be too dry or too wet. I try to be sure that all the bread is wet but not dripping wet. Add water if you need to. I also taste test the mixture to see if the salt and pepper level is appropriate - I like to taste the salt and pepper in the stuffing but not be overwhelmed by them. I usually add a teaspoon or two each of salt and pepper. I also add some sage, basil, and thyme - probably about a teaspoon of each to taste. And you don't need to grease the baking dish. Broth is all fat and will grease the dish all by itself, except maybe that Fat-Free stuff. I would need to look into that further.

If you are having a Martha Stewart day, you can get real fancy dancy and add a variety of special items to the mix. For those who like oysters, you can buy oysters in a can, drain the liquid off them, and mix them in. For those who are oyster lovers, fresh oysters would do the trick, but they are hard to find at holidays in the midwest. Personally I hate oysters. Oysters remind me of balls of mucous that shoot out of kids' noses when they are sick in the wintertime and sneeze all over everything in a 2000 square foot house with just one explosion. But my Dad likes oysters so sometimes I make a separate smaller pan of stuffing with oysters for him. Then I send that pan home with him and he is happy as a clam. And so am I.

My recent branching out with stuffing has involved chopped apples and raisins. I know a lady who adds fresh cranberries. I recently saw a recipe that included chopped kiwi and pears. I seem to notice a trend toward chopped fruit here. Hey, knock yourself out. If you are a true rookie, I would use the basic recipe, bake it at 325 degrees until it is no longer mushy and slightly toasted on top. That will certainly meet the minimum requirement for traditional stuffing.

By the way, I don't have a Martha Stewart table and yes I do use paper napkins. I do draw the line at paper plates and plastic eating utensils. I use the real thing. That's why they make dishwashers and husbands. I figure if I can do the cooking, he can certainly load a dishwasher. Happy stuffing....

2007-11-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

Cooking a turkey for many rookies seems to be a true mystery. Expert cooks have their own secrets, many of which are only shared with close family and friends. I have tried several approaches over the years and have settled on one that I have used for the past 20 years. After several bad turkey experiences which have included minor oven fires, lots of smoke and setting off smoke alarms, and ending up with a cooked bird that would effectively fill chuck holes on a four-lane highway, I have resorted to the cooking bag. Yep, bag the bird and life will get easier.

First, you need to buy the turkey. Even though big turkeys are harder to handle, I usually buy a big one. You know - 20 to 25 pounds. My family has always cooked big, so I tend to migrate toward a turkey that would easily feed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Fresh turkeys are good, although they are usually more expensive and harder to find. Personally, I like the challenge of a big 'ol frozen turkey.

Frozen turkeys can be purchased well in advance and put in the freezer. Of course, getting it in the shopping cart at the store can be a challenge if you do the shopping alone. I once saw a rookie try to put a frozen turkey in her cart at Wal-Mart. The turkey was slick due to the frost and this lady picked a big one. It slipped out of her hands, bounced off the rim of her cart, and shot down the aisle about 10 feet, hitting a small child and literally bowling him over. He laughed - so did I. The rookie gasped in horror, but after seeing that we were amused, started to chuckle.

She then tried to pick it up off the floor but she just couldn't get a handle on it. I walked over and offered to help - we were both laughing pretty hard by now. I suggested we set up a shuffle board course right there in the aisles of Wal-Mart and use the turkey as a puck. Finally, the two of us manhandled it into her cart where the turkey smashed two packages of brown-n-serve dinner rolls and two dozen eggs. She stated, "This is harder than I thought."

And I said, "Honey, you don't even have it in your kitchen yet!" Then she asked what she was supposed to do with it if she got lucky enough to get it into her car and then deposit the bird in her kitchen. I told her she should somehow get it in her kitchen sink, cover it with lukewarm water, and wait on it to thaw. "How long does that take?" she questioned. Several hours, I stated. I also advised that a butane torch was not a good idea to speed the thawing process along. She understood.

I then advised her to use the cooking approach that I had learned from a co-worker many years ago who said to stuff it in the largest cooking bag you can find and follow the directions on the back of the cooking bag box. "Did you know that you need to take off the plastic and remove that bag of junk in the cavity of the turkey?" I asked. I saw her sneak a peak at her turkey, probably trying to find some directions. She stated that there didn't appear to be a turkey hotline number in plain sight. I asked if she wanted my phone number and she took it. I did not, however, receive a call from this rookie. Over the next few days, I watched the local newspaper to see if there had been any fire runs involving out-of-control turkeys and there were none. I guess she either figured it out, threw the turkey in her freezer, or just left it in her car to thaw.

Of course, once you get the bird cooking, the next problem is to figure out when the darned thing is done. Some cooks time it. Some use those little pop-off valves where the little red thing pops out when the internal temperature gets to a certain point. I have a pretty simple method. Assuming that you start with a thawed turkey, I know the bird is done is when it has a golden brown appearance and you can move the leg easily with your fingers. I would like to report that all members of my family are still alive and kicking after eating turkey cooked this way for many years. Go figure.